Category Archives: My Blog

I Have A Testimony :)

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Exodus 23:1

Okay so I woke up this morning and saw Exodus 23:1 trending on twitter. I was so excited in my mind I’m like “Yay, a Bible verse is trending on twitter. And it’s not John 3:16 lol. That’s so cool. The Word is getting out there”. Seriously. I was so happy!

So I click on the trend and the first thing that comes up is something about a Pusha T diss track. I was so confused.

After doing some quick research I realized that Pusha T made a diss track (that is supposedly in reference to Drake), and he titled it Exodus 23:1. Now there’s apparently going to be beef/war between the two labels (G.O.O.D music and YMCMB).

The scripture that he cites reads “Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness” and I guess that’s what he’s basically talking about in the song. However, I couldn’t help but think: Is this blasphemous? 

Yea, it’s probably going to cause some people to go find their Bibles to see what that scriptures says and it may spark some positive discussions but is it right? The track is laced with profanity, negativity, and drama. Why are we bringing scripture into this?

On the flip side, the Bible stands as THE truth and THE authority. What better way to express your feelings than to search the scriptures? He’s not taking the verse out of context.

Or is he?

I don’t know what to think. Nothing is sacred anymore.

Lecrae and the Great Commission

I have been a fan of Lecrae since Real Talk but lately I have really grown to love and appreciate his ministry! He is one of very few Christian artists that are visibly living out the Great Commission: Go and make disciples of all nations.

Not many Christian artists can break out of that label. (But then again, not all artists are called to reach the non-Christian). Of course, it isn’t a bad label; but it’s not one that’s going to reach the unbeliever. Let’s face it, people don’t want to be beat in the head with the gospel. They don’t want to hear that they are damned to hell fire unless they accept Christ. They don’t even want to hear that there is a God that can help them through their problems when life looks like it’s going downhill. People want real life; they want honesty. Unfortunately, many feel they can’t get that from a church full of hypocrites so they don’t turn to the church. Lecrae understands that.

With Lecrae receiving more mainstream recognition, he has now been afforded the opportunity to reach those that are not believers.

Other artists have tried to go mainstream to reach the un-churched; unfortunately a majority of them end up compromising the gospel. There is a thin line between meeting people where they are and conforming to their way of living. Very few Christian artists have mastered an effective way to minister the gospel in mainstream. Not only has Lecrae mastered it, he has done so in a way that is non-threatening. I mean, look at Jesus himself! He didn’t go through town saying “I am Jesus follow me or else!”. He met people where they were; He loved on them; He understood them and didn’t criticize. That is how people came to know and follow Jesus.

Lecrae is doing the same thing. He understands that people don’t listen to church folk because of all the hypocrisy. That is why I so appreciate the single off his mixtape. From the start he’s letting people know, Look I know there’s hypocrisy in the church, but I want you to look past the flaws of the church and get to Jesus. That’s a great message and it’s going to capture the unbeliever who is looking for a Christian to agree that the church has many, many flaws. Nobody wants to talk about it. It’s been swept under the rug for too long and I pray that this is going to open up the discussion and bring the issue to the forefront. I am so excited to hear Church Clothes, the mixtape he is releasing next Thursday and I pray it does two things. First, I pray that his mixtape allows people, namely the unbeliever, to look past the church and see Jesus. Unfortunately, the church isn’t always a good representation of Christ. Second, while Lecrae has said this mixtape isn’t really for his Christian fans, I pray that we listen to it as well and are moved to make changes in our own walk. The world is looking at us and it is time we are more Christ-like.

While some people are questioning Lecrae’s move to mainstream I firmly believe this is one of the best things he can do. Not just for his career, but for the Kingdom. My prayer is that he continues to focus on the Great Commission and doesn’t get caught up in the mainstream lifestyle that he has preached against. Let’s continue to lift up our brother Lecrae, his wife, and the whole Reach Record family!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

It’s my birthday!!! Yay 🙂

I am so blessed to see another year. This is truly a wonderful birthday.

This very day last year wasn’t so wonderful. I’ve never been excited about my birthday. Well, I shouldn’t say never; but not in a long time. To me it’s always just been another day. Plus, for the past 7 years my birthday has always been shadowed by final exams…ughh! Last year, was bad. I cried pretty much all day. I was in a bad, depressive state. At that time, my birthday meant another year had passed by and I still didn’t know what I was doing with my life. Where I thought I would be at 23 was no where in sight. I felt empty, worthless, and undeserving of living.

But TODAY!! [insert organ riff]…lol but really. Today really feels great. It’s funny because this whole week my little brother was like “Tosin, are you excited for Thursday”? And I’d tell him I didn’t know what Thursday was. “Oh wow, that’s sad you don’t even remember your own birthday!”, he’d say lol. But I just was never excited for my birthday because it’s always just been a day to remind me that I’m getting older. But this year is definitely different. I am excited!!!!!!!!!!! I’m blessed. Why am I blessed?

1. I’m finishing up my masters at Columbia. I just received my first student teaching placement so I’m excited to finally get into the classroom!!

2. My blog is doing very well. I thank all of you who have been visiting and showing me love. I know that this is only the beginning of what God is going to do with this. My dreams are slowly becoming reality.

3. I’m working on some stuff musically that I thought I’d always be too afraid to venture into.

4. I’m gaining focus in life. That, in part, is because I have/am still letting go of fear. Fear no longer controls my life!!

5. I am saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost!! Okay, so that was a little churchy lol. But I know and love God…and He knows and loves me 🙂

6. I have great friends and family that are supporting me throughout every step of the way.

7. I’M BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED!!!

(Hmmm, clearly I’m growing out of my OCD/perfectionist ways because I hate odd numbered lists and was tempted to find a #8..but I’m kind of okay with leaving that as an odd list. But then again 7 is the number of completion..haha)

God has been showing me a glimpse of the favor He’s getting ready to pour out on me and I’m so excited!! People have told me that 2012 was going to be my year. But they said that in 2011, 2010, 2009…haha; but this is the first year I actually believe it. It’s my season and I’m praying that as I begin this new year every step is the Will of God!

Continue to pray for me as I pray for you! And please continue to support TosinMojiSpeaks!

I Don’t Want to be Black Today

So I was standing on line waiting to head back to Jersey from the city and this Black man walked by and said those words: I don’t want to be Black today. Apparently, he was the first person waiting on line, left the line for a moment, and came back to a longer line than he obviously expected. His statement was in reference to him deciding to get to the back of the line rather than making a scene and getting in front.

He was right behind me so when he said that I laughed and struck up a small conversation; but on my ride back home what he said kept ringing in my head and I became upset. What does ‘being black’ have to do with losing your place in line???

I don’t want to be black today. Don’t make me get black. You lucky I ain’t acting black right now. These are all variations of the same idea, but what does it even mean? Why do we say it? How does it affect us?

These phrases give a negative connotation to the idea of being ‘black’. In the context of its use it’s synonymous to making a scene, being loud, going off, etc. We get offended when other races say the same thing about us but yet we have made it such a part of our colloquial that we don’t even realize we are inadvertently demeaning ourselves.

We don’t hear “Don’t let me get White” or “You lucky I ain’t acting Chinese right now”. If we’re going to turn “being black” into slang, at least let it mean something positive! We need to have more respect for ourselves and our community. We need to think twice before we say common phrases that hurt our image and then get offended when other races agree with that image.

Black is beautiful. Black is sophisticated. Black is intelligent.

If we begin to see ourselves that way others will too.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be Black everyday 🙂

Diary of a Perfectionist

You laugh when I triple check my text messages before I send it or when I make sure that each end of a table cover is perfectly equal or when I notice that a picture frame isn’t straight. Well, it’s not funny; it’s a hindrance. Perfectionism kills.

It’s never something that I’ve wanted to admit about myself. I mean, who would want to admit that they are an over achiever that never really achieves anything because they set goals that aren’t humanly possible?

I’ve always known that I like things to be ‘perfect’ but it wasn’t until last month that I realized I had a problem. It was one afternoon when my father had come back from the store and I was helping him unpack everything. I was just about to head upstairs after putting the eggs away. As I was walking upstairs I realized “I don’t think I turned all the eggs the correct way”. (That day he had brought Eggland’s Best Eggs and I didn’t have all the eggs placed with the ‘EB’ imprint facing up.) So what did I do? Yup, you guessed it. I walked back downstairs and fixed all the eggs so that they were perfectly identical. (Then, I noticed that one side of the refrigerator was sticking out more than another so I had to fix that too.) Unfortunately perfectionist ways do have OCD traits.

What are some thoughts or actions that are associated with the perfectionist personality?

1. Fear of Failure

We’ve already established in a previous blog entry that I have a fear of failure. But, I’ve never really associated it with perfectionism. But obviously if I want everything to be perfect, and it’s not, then I feel that I have failed and let myself (and others) down. I want to be able to do something and just be the best at it. But if that doesn’t happen I automatically stamp myself as a failure.

2. Obsess Over Mistakes

I hate typos. If I tweet something or update my Facebook status and realize I made a typo I quickly delete it, pray that no one has seen it, and repost an error-free update. Before I send an email to someone I always re-read it over and over again to make sure there are no errors. If I accidently send an email with an error I stare at the email forever and wish there was a way I could take it back. It’s to the point where if I write an email on Monday, I won’t send it until Thursday because I need to make sure that it is the best it can be. (This ties into my procrastination issue.) When I was in college, friends would always send me their papers to edit because they knew I would find all the mistakes. When I want to post a comment on a blog, I type up the comment in Word first (just like I’m doing now) so that I can double check all the spelling before I press send. When I read anything I always have to highlight the mistakes (I can not stand for the life of me when people misuse ‘your’ and ‘you’re’!!)

3. Extremely Competitive

I always have to be right. My family knows that if you dare start an argument with me be prepared to lose (or at least make me feel as if I’ve won) because I will fight until I am proven right. I hate being wrong and I hate losing. I love games but I usually opt out of playing because losing messes up my whole mindset. A couple weeks ago I was at a friend’s house and we were playing Taboo. That’s one of my favorite games and usually a game I’m really good at; but that day I lost—and I wasn’t happy. I kept thinking about all the answers I could have got right and how I let the team down because I wasn’t focused. After that moment, my whole demeanor had changed. Of course, everyone noticed. One person asked me what was wrong and I said “I can’t believe we lost. I don’t know what I was thinking. I could’ve got those answers right. Now I’m going to be thinking about what I could’ve done better.” Then he said “So all the fun that you just had is totally clouded by the fact that you just lost?” That struck me. I did have a lot of fun playing Taboo that night, but at that moment losing was the only thing that was on my mind.

4. All or Nothing Mentality

This is a big one and probably the most dangerous (for me, at least). If I feel that I can’t do something perfectly, I’m not going to do it. Why do something ‘good enough’ when it can be ‘perfect’. One example is cleaning my room. Yup, something that is a simple task for most is a daunting task for me. I literally have to block out a whole day to clean my room. That’s not because it’s extra messy (although sometimes it is) but it’s more because I have to clean it a certain way. When I clean my room, naturally I wash my clothes. All of them—whether they are clean or dirty. Why? Because I need to take an inventory. Inventory you ask? Yes, I have an Excel spreadsheet on my laptop of all my clothes. Once all my clothes are washed, I hang or fold my clothes and double check to make sure that everything I have washed is on the spreadsheet. When I buy new clothes, I can’t just add it to the spreadsheet (that would be the easiest thing to do right?). Well, I need to start from the beginning of the process and wash my clothes and check items off. Unfortunately, I have a lot of clothes. I do the same thing with my jewelry/accessories. After my clothes are finished, I can clean the rest of my room :).

5. Control-Freak/Don’t ask for help

Yes! I admit it people. I love to be in control of everything. I like to control relationships. I had a friend in high school that everything I told her to do she would do. My mom used to call me the shortest bully because one of my friends, who was twice my size, said she was afraid of me.  In romantic relationships, I wear the pants. If you’re shy I’m walking all over you. I like things to be done my way or not done at all. That is why I don’t like asking for help. Obviously the only person that can do the task correctly is me right?

6. Goal-Setting

I either don’t set goals, or set goals that are simply unattainable. If I don’t set goals, I feel like I’m a failure because I’m not doing anything productive. If I do set goals, I feel like I’m a failure because I can’t reach them. You see my dilemma? It’s bad enough that I place these expectations on myself; but it’s even worse when I place them on someone else. My issue is that I think big. Too big. I’ve always been that way. But, because I think big—but I’m afraid of failure—it’s hard for me to accomplish anything. Or at least accomplish it in a timely manner. I must say, I’ve gotten a little better at setting attainable goals and accomplishing them. I guess I am getting better at some things!!

Well, this is the short list (lol). Vulnerability is not something I enjoy (It makes you realize you’re not perfect). I want to be able to have fun and not worry about competition. I want to accomplish things and not feel the need to make it perfect, but just the best that I can do it. I want to learn how to set small, attainable goals that eventually lead me to that big picture.

I believe I will get there. The first step in fixing a problem is admitting that you have one right :).

Twitter Fun: #Top25CartoonSeriesOfAllTime

I couldn’t pass up this trending topic! Here is a list of my favorite cartoon/animated series of all time (in no particular order).

1. Doug-Who didn’t watch Doug?

2. Rugrats- My brother used to call me Angelica. If you watched the show you’d know why

3. Looney Tunes- Bugs Bunny, Tweety Bird, Daffy Duck, Tasmanian Devil. These characters kept you laughing.

4. Scooby Doo- My favorite part was finding out who the ghost was.

5. Pink Panther-He was a Panther. He was Pink. The theme song was awesome. Enough said.

6. Recess- Who else couldn’t stand Miss Finster?

7. Proud Family- Favorite Part? English subtitles of Papi mocking Suga Mama in Spanish.

8. Science Court- Am I the only one that remembers this show? It came on ABC’s Saturday Mornings!

9. The Jetsons- The classics are the best. This new generation doesn’t know anything about the Jetsons!

10. The Flintstones- Yabba Dabba Do!

11. Pinky and the Brain- “Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”/”The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world!”

12. Hey Arnold!- Who else was weirded out by Helga’s obsession for football head?

13. Tom & Jerry- Another classic. I love it’s use of classical music.

14. Postman Pat- Okay, so I spent my early childhood in London. Postman Pat was the man.

15. Popeye-Did you eat spinach to see if you’d get stronger too?

16. Inspector Gadget-Go Go Gadget!

17. The Magic School Bus- How come my field trips were never this cool?

18. Where On Earth is Carmen Sandiego- I loved guessing the clues! Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego????

19. Thomas and Friends– Another Classic from England; I think it came over to the states though?

20. Spongebob- Squidward played the clarinet; that’s all that mattered.

21. All Grown Up– Rutgers Part 2.

22. Boondocks– Controversy at it’s finest.

23. Backyardigans– Okay, so what if this kid show came out when I was in high school. You know the music goes in!

24. Rocket Power- I still don’t remember why I loved this show….

25. Family Guy– No animated series list is complete without Family Guy!! “Lois! Mom! Mum! Mommy! Ma! Ma!”

Twitter Fun: #WhatILoveAboutAfrica

So every now and then there is a TT (trending topic for those of you that aren’t ‘twitter-literate’) on twitter that catches my attention. So when I saw this topic I just had to add my own two cents 🙂

So here are some things I love about Africa:

1. NIGERIA! Duh, that’s where I’m from!!!!! No matter how many times I try to deny it haha

2. FOOD! I may be petite but I eat a lot, believe it or not. I love my Naija food: fried rice, jollof rice, moi moi, amala, efo stew, akara, puff puff, scotch egg…the list goes on and on!

3. FASHION! If you know me you know I don’t need to be going to an african event to wear ankara. You’ll catch me wearing that on a Sunday morning. (In fact I just wore one to church last sunday.) I love when my mom buys the fabric, sends it to nigeria and it comes back looking AMAZING! I never use to wear the head wrap (gele) but now I’m getting into that too!!

4. CULTURE! I didn’t always appreciate my culture, but the older I get the more I can appreciate it. I love the respect we have for our elders. I love how EVERYTHING is a party. I love my language and I wish I spoke it more :(. I love the Nigerian proverbs my dad says every day to teach us a lesson lol.

5. MUSIC! Well, I’m a musician so I love music in general. I remember the long car rides when that’s all my parents would play. Like can I get some Kirk Franklin PLEASE! LOL! It was definitely annoying but now I’m learning to love Fela Kuti, D’banj and everything in between…and I’m still learning

6. DETERMINATION. I think Africans are some of the most determined people I know. We are unstoppable. Always finding a way to use $1 as if it was $100. If they don’t find a job, they create one. Every African has a business lol. Success is what we all strive for.

Those are some things I love about Africa (well, nigeria!) I love being African…and I can’t wait to go back and visit my beautiful country 🙂

I’m Still Human….

How do you navigate through life?

When I was planning my life out as a child I didn’t expect to be where I am now. Now I’m sitting here wondering if life’s really worth living: almost 24, living at home, no man, no job. Is it really worth it? I spend my days doing observations at schools that probably won’t hire me. I’m in graduate school partially because I want to become a music educator and partially because I have nothing better to do.

When I graduated in 2009, with no job offers, I applied to grad school because I didn’t want to just sit around. It was a way for me to feel worth something while I got myself together. 3 years later, nothing has come out of it.

My parents are disappointed in me. They don’t have to tell me for me to know it’s true. You think you do everything right and you still end up wrong.

My fear is to graduate next year and still have no job, no man, and no place to call my own. I feel like I’m in this never ending black hole and the only way to get out of it is…well…you know…

I seem fine on the outside but I’m dying on the inside. What is wrong with me?

I’m slowly falling back into my dark place. Where is this good God? My faith is dying out.

Tell me what’s it all for?

FREE Worship Conference!! March 23rd and 24th

Do you love to worship? Are you looking to get to that next level in your relationship with God?

Then you need to be at this 2 day Worship Conference!!

Topics include:

Worship in the Valley
The Role of the Musician
How to Stay Kingdom Focused
WorshipHop

….and soo much more!

We have awesome speakers coming out. You do not want to miss this! It’s FREE!!!

Register NOW!!!

Visit www.nolimitsym.com and click on the “Total Surrender 2012” tab to register!